It’s no secret that menopause can play havoc with your sleep quality. As we transition through menopause, our levels of oestrogen and progesterone in particular are declining. And this can affect our bodies sleep / wake cycle, also known as our circadian rhythm.
But sleep disturbances are not ONLY caused by our hormones. You do have some power over the situation, and how you experience it too.
Start by noticing what you’re feeling, and treating yourself with kindness. Remember also that you’re not alone. Send some kind thoughts to other women having the same experiences as you, and reassure them they’ll be ok too.
Realise that times of change are stressful by nature. Try to shine some light on the positive side to any worrying you’re doing – worries usually tell something positive about your personality. Ask yourself: ‘Why does this matter to me?’.
Next, it’s worth considering whether you could reframe your thinking around disturbed sleep. For example, you have a bad night on Monday and so spend all day Tuesday feeling tired and thinking about how you really need to sleep tonight. And then you get to bed and it’s another bad night.
Repeatedly going through this cycle can create an anxiety about sleep which can layer on top of all the physical causes of disturbed sleep and make the problem worse.
There’s a CBT technique you can use which is effective for sleep anxiety.
First, you write down the thoughts that come up when you can’t sleep. That might be ‘I’ll never sleep well again’ or ‘I’m so tired I can’t do XYZ properly’ or even ‘all these bad nights are going to make me ill’
Then, notice how your worried thoughts tend to contain absolutes like always or never; they predict the future and they see things as all or nothing.
Next, try to reframe your thoughts using a more realistic perspective. Sticking with the examples above, you might change ‘I’ll never sleep well again’ to ‘some nights might be bad, but other nights will probably be ok. You might change ‘I’m so tired I can’t function properly’ to ‘I’m not feeling my best but I can do some things, and maybe I can find a bit of time to recharge during the day’. You might reframe ‘all these bad nights are going to make me ill’ with ‘sleep is one aspect of good health. I can still look after my eating habits, my exercise habits and make sure to get plenty of fresh air’
By reframing your thoughts, you can minimise the worry you feel about sleep and allow yourself to actually sleep!
Finally, you could consider the amplified effect stress has on your body during perimenopause and the fact that the stressful nature of your days could be impacting the sleep you’re getting at night.
You could try to include some short relaxation sessions in your day. You could include some recharging activities like meeting a friend for coffee. You could plan some self-care type activities too – whatever you enjoy.
I hope this has given you some practical ideas for how you can regain some power over your menopause related sleep. I’d love to hear how you get on.